It was the night before Christmas and all were in bed Tucked in and cozy with festive dreams in their head They dreamed of Christmas things because Christmas was here They dreamed of bells and wicker and caroling cheer They dreamed of eggnog, frankincense, and jelly beans And hey, while we're at it, does anyone know what yuletide means? Oh yes,...Learn More

Basically one Christmas I was stuck in my room Because I got grounded for calling my mom a bitch When I was in my room I saw Santa and he was on my roof And he was looking through the neighbor's window And watching the kids watch Lilo and Stitch I poked my head out the window and said "Hey Santa, what the hell are you doing watching the neighbor's...Learn More

Well, Christmas is totally crazy this year Kids nowadays got no holiday cheer They'd rather use social media than drink Christmas beer Yup, Christmas is officially crazy this year Nobody wants to dress in red or green Ever since a little thing called Covid-19 Now kids nowadays would rather just look at a screen On their personal iPhone...Learn More

One time, it was Christmas But not just any Christmas, this was Christmas day Yes, Christmas day is the time of year when all of the boys and girls are excited to get their Christmas presents So named for the fact that they are given on Christmas But for reindeer it is the shittiest day of the year The only day they have to work And for one...Learn More

I'm not afraid to say it, that on Christmas day I'll be going away to a place without snow I'm no good at gifts or Christmastime riffs And I'll never be kissed under the mistletoe Yeah, sorry to the big man, I have no cookies for you I have no milk and no treats or new Santa shoes I'm not an Elf on the Shelf or Christmas tree angel I'd probably die...Learn More