[Lyric] Dental Hygiene Dilemma (Frank Zappa & The Mothers)

Han-min-noon-toon, han-toon-han
No, Jeff
Rantoon, Rantoon, Rantoon, Frammin
Hantoon, Rantoon, Hantoon, Frammin (No, no, no)
Man, this stuff is great
It's just as if
Donovan himself had appeared on my very own TV with
Words of peace, love and eternal cosmic wisdom
Leading me, guiding me
On paths of everlasting pseudo-karmic negligence
In the very midst of my drug-induced nocturnal emission
For I am your good conscience, Jeff
I know all, I see all
I am a cosmic love pulse matrix
Becoming a technicolor inter-positive (Huh?)
Where'd you buy that incense?
It's hip
It's the same and mysterious
Exotic oriental fragrance as what thе Beatles get off on
I thought I rеcognized it
Mm, what is that, musk? Oh, mm
Jeff, I know what's good for you
Right
You're heavy
Yes, Jeff, I am your guiding light
Listen to me, don't rip off the towels, Jeff
Piss off, you little nitwit
Hey man, what's the deal?
Don't listen to him, Jeff, he's no good
He'll make you do bad things
You mean he'll make me sin?
Yes, Jeff, sin
Wow
Jeff, I'd like to have a word with you
About your soul
No, don't listen, Jeff
Why are you wasting your life
Night after night, playing this comedy music?
You're right, I'm too heavy to be in this group
Comedy music
Jeff, your soul!
You're wasting your life (Too heavy, Jeff)
In this group, all I ever get to do is play Zappa's comedy music
He eats (Jeff)
I get so tense
Of course you do, my boy
The stuff he makes me do is always off the wall
That's why it would be best to leave his stern employ
And quit the group (You'll make it big)
That's right (Of course)
And then I won't be small
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha
Ha-ha-ha
Ha-ha-ha-ha (Hahahaha)
Ahmet Ertegun used this towel as a bathmat six weeks ago
At a rancid motel in Orlando, Florida
With the highest mildew rating of any commercial lodging facility
Within the territorial limits of the United States
Naturally excluding tropical possessions
It's still damp, what an aroma
This is the best I ever got off, what can I say about this elixir?
Try it on stains, cleans nylons
Small-craft warnings
It's made for the home, the office, on fruits
This is the real you, Jeff
Rip off a few more ashtrays, get rid of some of that inner tension
Quit the comedy group
Get your own group together
Heavy, like Grand Funk
Or Black Sabbath
No, Jeff
Or Coven
Peace
Love
Bollocks
What can I say about this elixir?
Jeff has gone out there on that stuff
He should have never have used the elixir and only stuck to the incense
O Atlantis
That was Billy the Mountain dressed up like Donovan
Fading out on the wall-mounted TV screen
Jeff is flipping out, road fatigue
We've got to get him back to normal before Zappa finds out
And steals it and makes him do it in the movie
You have a brilliant career ahead of you my boy
Just get out of this group
Howard, that was Studebacher Hoch dressed up like Jim Pons
Giving career guidance to the bass player of a rock-oriented comedy group
Jeff's imagination has gone beyond the fringe of audience comprehension
Jeff, Jeff, it's me, The Phlorescent Leech
Jeff, Jeff, it's me, Eddie
Wow, what can I say about this elixir?
Put it on your steaks (Use it to clean your swimming pool)
Soak your shirts in it (Send it overseas)
Sell it to your mother and tell her it's a tie-dye kit (Soak your teeth in it)
Let it play the piano (You can put it on you surfboard so you won't slip off)
You won't even believe what'll happen when you starch your shirt with it
Ironing goes easier and your car windows never looked better in your whole life
Ladies and gentlemen, you can inhale it, and it makes your voice three keys higher
And you can't even stand what happens (On your pizzas, put it on your shoes)
When you put it on your hair as a hair tonic, haha (Tie your bike with it)
And if you ever try it as a—
What— (Wow)
What can I—
Wow
What—
What can I say about this—
Wow