[Lyric] It Depends On What You Pay (Tom Jones and Harvey Schmidt)

[EL GALLO] (spoken)
The cost, Señor, depends on the quality of the rape

[BELLOMY] (spoken)
No

[EL GALLO] (spoken)
Forgive me, the attempted "rape". The abduction, the seizure, the raid, the chase! In your case, I think I would recommend a first class

[BELLOMY] (spoken)
You mean we get a choice?

[EL GALLO] (spoken)
Yes, of course! And with regular union rates, it depends on what you pay

[EL GALLO] (sung)
Paaaaaaaay!
Paaaaaaaay!
Paaaaaaaay!

You have to pay!
So come on and pay!
We've the obvious open schoolboy chase
With little mandolins and a fast embrace
A childish prank, it's little in request
A first class raid, that is what I would suggest

Just try to see it!
And you will soon agree, señors
Why invite regret
When you can order an abduction you will never forget!

An abduction that's emphatic
An abduction that's polite
An abduction done with Indians
A truly charming sight

[HUCKLEBEE] (spoken)
Indians?

[EL GALLO] (sung)
An abduction done on horseback;
They all say it's new and gay!
So you see the masquerade depends on what you pay!
It depends on what you pay!

[HUCKLEBEE] (spoken)
The kids will love it!
It depends on what you pay!
[BELLOMY] (spoken)
So why be stingy?
It depends on what you –

[EL GALLO] (sung)
A spectacular raid
With costumes ordered from the East
Requires rehearsal
And takes a dozen men at least

[BELLOMY] (spoken)
Twelve men?

[HUCKLEBEE] (spoken)
That's a dozen!

[EL GALLO] (sung)
A couple singers
And a string quartet
A major production
Requires a set

[BELLOMY] (spoken)
That sounds expensive

[EL GALLO] (sung)
Just try to see it!
And you will soon sí, sí, señors
Why invite regret
When you can order an abduction you will never forget!
An abduction that's emphatic
An abduction that's polite
An abduction done with Indians
A truly charming sight
An abduction done on horseback;
They all say it's distingué!

[ALL]
So you see the masquerade depends on what you pay!

[EL GALLO]
It depends on what you pay!

[HUCKLEBEE (BELLOMY)] (spoken)
So why be stingy?
It depends on what you pay!
The kids will love it! (Pay! Pay! Pay!)

[HUCKLEBEE and BELLOMY] (spoken)
It depends on what you –

[EL GALLO] (sung)
The comic snatch
Perhaps it's just a trifle too unique
The pastorale
Done while canoeing on a moonlit creek

[BELLOMY] (spoken)
That's kind of pretty!

[EL GALLO] (sung)
The gothic grope!
I play "Valkyrie" on a bass bassoon!
The drunken brawl!
I fight the boy inside a cheap saloon!

[BELLOMY] (spoken)
Nothing cheap!

[EL GALLO] (sung)
Perhaps you'd like a special rape ballet!
I make an entrance doing grand jetés!
Ballet's expensive but it's in demand
The military siege is done with drummers and a band!
You understand?

[HUCKLEBEE]
I understand!

[EL GALLO]
It's very grand!

[BELLOMY]
It's very grand!

[EL GALLO]
It's done with drums and a great big brass band!

[BELLOMY] (spoken)
It's so Spanish! That's why I like it!

[HUCKLEBEE] (spoken)
I like it too! Ay-yi-yi!

[EL GALLO] (sung)
Just try to see it!

[HUCKLEBEE]
I see it!

[BELLOMY]
I see it!

[EL GALLO]
And you will soon sí, sí, señors

[ALL]
Why invite regret
When you can order an abduction you will never forget!

[HUCKLEBEE AND BELLOMY (EL GALLO)]
An abduction that's emphatic, (Just pay!)
An abduction that's polite
An abduction done with Indians, (And pay!)
A truly charming sight
An abduction done on horseback; (And pay!)
They all say it's new and gay!

[ALL]
So you see the masquerade depends on what you pay!
So you see the masquerade depends on what you pay!
So you see the masquerade depends on what you pay!

[HUCKLEBEE AND BELLOMY (EL GALLO)]
So you see the masquerade depends on what you pay! (Pay!)
Depends on what you pay
Depends on what you pay
Depends on what you pay

[ALL]
Depends a lot on what you –

[HUCKLEBEE] (spoken)
I say they're only young once. Let's order us a first class!

[ALL] (sung)
Pay!
Olé!