[Intro]
It's so cute when we create God in our image. My town is cute like that. You guys probably know something about that, being from Texas. I grew up in Baytown. Anyone from Baytown here?
[Crowd cheers]
Alright, you made it out! Good job! Good. This is dedicated to Huntsville where I went to college and—
[Crowd cheers]
Okay, that's fucked up—
And Baytown. I went to college while George was governor there. So, I grew up with George. I did most of the growing. And I'd like to dedicate this poem to my town.
Bеcause my town is cute
Like a bumpеr sticker
Like Christians who sport "Power of pride" bumper stickers.
What is it you don't get about pride being a deadly sin?
My town is cute like "God Bless America" bumper stickers.
Judging from our excessive luxury, Austin,
Those stickers really work
Now if we can just get God to bless the whole world
Alex Olsen's bumper sticker, hers reads:
"I love my country.
I just think we should start seeing other people."
But my town doesn't see other people
We're just too cute
Like the difference between what we say and what we do
Like the fact that violence in any form
Is sanctioned by the government as criminal or insane
Unless they commit it
My town is cute like the people
Who still shop at Wal-Mart and claim to be patriotic
Stop it.
My town is cute in the way we worry about the gays
Fucking up our family values and the sanctity of marriage
Yet we still let our children watch television shows
Like Wife Swap, The Bachelor, American Idolatry, and Fox News
My town is so cute y'all, that, check this out
One time, five years ago there were some brown people...
Boogity-Boogity
They attacked two of our tallest buildings
And killed a shit-load of our innocent citizens
Kind of like we did in Guatemala, Nicaragua, Panama, El Salvador, Tanzania, Mozambique, Vietnam, Afghanistan, Hiroshima, Philippines, Kosovo, Bolivia, Angola, Argentina, Brazil, Chile, Dresden, Dominican Republic, Cuba, Haiti, Cambodia, Indonesia, East Timor,
Iraq, Iraq.
What are we doing in Israel?
And my cute town pretends we never saw it or had it coming
So, in a perpetual attempt to save cute face
We've waged a war on terror as effective as the war on drugs
My town is cute when we do these things
In the name of God
Y'all, as many as 20% of the polar bears
On the northern ice cap are hermaphrodites
Due to PCB's being dumped into the ocean.
That shit is cute.
Like a wolf giving birth through its penile canal
Like a 300 pound tumor manifesting hair and teeth inside of it
Grown from the body of 210 pound agoraphobic woman.
My town is cute like competitive poetry,
The history of Scientology,
Plastic surgery, and refined sugar.
My town is cute like a man swallowing an eight-ball of cocaine
Then jumping from a five-story building to escape police
Getting up and running away from it all
Y'all, this is a true story
The first time my town saw the sky
It sucker-punched us in the throat
Left us breathless
Saying, "I'm going to keep you awake some nights
Without touching you.
You'll make it up, the pain. You always do."
Now, my town only buys drowsy-formula sky
Otherwise, it gets too big, the sky
Like when we were three
Before we realized we realized we have balls
Okay, the sky does not
Therefore, we have bigger balls than the sky
Please, don't talk to us about being tea-bagged
By upside-down hot-air balloons...
... Okay, explain that to a neighbor because that shit's funny.
Where rational conversations
And big pictures are concerned
We have no time for getting wrapped up
We are not little presents for your sky
We are just right, far right
And cute like three year-olds
Like the book about bunny suicides
Cute like Ol' Yeller just 'fore he got shot and the rabies
A good actor, that dog.
My town was born way off the mark
Y'all, sometimes we see it coming, the mark
So we shoot it with spit wads
Or precision-guided phallic symbols
Every time there is talk of war
People give me reasons why their town
Will be bombed first
It's a souped-up sense of self-importance, Bucko.
Everybody knows my town will be bombed first
Because, once, we planned the construction
Of a nuclear power plant
Right here in the same fields
Where our military children now carry out covert orders
To keep the word "dumb" alive
Religion has a hard time working here
It makes us believe that, even when we're alone
Somebody's watching us
Now, we're all narcissists
We have a habit of giving other people's gifts to ourselves
But at least our children still get
Their confidence booster shots
While our fathers perform voice-reduction surgeries
To keep our pleas for help mime-sized
While our mothers are bending infinity in half
So that our families can continue to talk in circles
For the same reason we burn our tongues
When we drink hot cocoa
For the same reason everyone wants to hug the ocean:
Because it's just so much
My town knows that there is something so big inside of all of us
We have to suck just to distract you
From being directly overwhelmed by our real power
The kind of power that makes you smile
Everybody knows that smiling is for little girls, the gays,
And certain kinds of fish who are smiling by accident
The shortcuts my town has taken
Have gotten us so far ahead of ourselves, y'all
We've actually fallen behind
Would have been better learning
How to herd turtles into a bomb shelters
On moment's notice
Giggling at the fact that we will all now die
And it's going to happen so fast
We will have never been anything but really cute
Like our three year olds
Who use folding chairs to beat lambs within inches of their lives
Funny fucking thing about that
My town is inches tall
It's why the sky looks down on us
Wants to tells us something like,
"Grow up, or reach up,
or look up and watch me winking
I'm trying to talk to you."
The earth is traveling at 66,641 miles per hour
Around the sun
It simultaneously rotates on itself
At over 1,000 miles per hour
My town... it's having some trouble sleeping.
It's so cute when we create God in our image. My town is cute like that. You guys probably know something about that, being from Texas. I grew up in Baytown. Anyone from Baytown here?
[Crowd cheers]
Alright, you made it out! Good job! Good. This is dedicated to Huntsville where I went to college and—
[Crowd cheers]
Okay, that's fucked up—
And Baytown. I went to college while George was governor there. So, I grew up with George. I did most of the growing. And I'd like to dedicate this poem to my town.
Bеcause my town is cute
Like a bumpеr sticker
Like Christians who sport "Power of pride" bumper stickers.
What is it you don't get about pride being a deadly sin?
My town is cute like "God Bless America" bumper stickers.
Judging from our excessive luxury, Austin,
Those stickers really work
Now if we can just get God to bless the whole world
Alex Olsen's bumper sticker, hers reads:
"I love my country.
I just think we should start seeing other people."
But my town doesn't see other people
We're just too cute
Like the difference between what we say and what we do
Like the fact that violence in any form
Is sanctioned by the government as criminal or insane
Unless they commit it
My town is cute like the people
Who still shop at Wal-Mart and claim to be patriotic
Stop it.
My town is cute in the way we worry about the gays
Fucking up our family values and the sanctity of marriage
Yet we still let our children watch television shows
Like Wife Swap, The Bachelor, American Idolatry, and Fox News
My town is so cute y'all, that, check this out
One time, five years ago there were some brown people...
Boogity-Boogity
They attacked two of our tallest buildings
And killed a shit-load of our innocent citizens
Kind of like we did in Guatemala, Nicaragua, Panama, El Salvador, Tanzania, Mozambique, Vietnam, Afghanistan, Hiroshima, Philippines, Kosovo, Bolivia, Angola, Argentina, Brazil, Chile, Dresden, Dominican Republic, Cuba, Haiti, Cambodia, Indonesia, East Timor,
Iraq, Iraq.
What are we doing in Israel?
And my cute town pretends we never saw it or had it coming
So, in a perpetual attempt to save cute face
We've waged a war on terror as effective as the war on drugs
My town is cute when we do these things
In the name of God
Y'all, as many as 20% of the polar bears
On the northern ice cap are hermaphrodites
Due to PCB's being dumped into the ocean.
That shit is cute.
Like a wolf giving birth through its penile canal
Like a 300 pound tumor manifesting hair and teeth inside of it
Grown from the body of 210 pound agoraphobic woman.
My town is cute like competitive poetry,
The history of Scientology,
Plastic surgery, and refined sugar.
My town is cute like a man swallowing an eight-ball of cocaine
Then jumping from a five-story building to escape police
Getting up and running away from it all
Y'all, this is a true story
The first time my town saw the sky
It sucker-punched us in the throat
Left us breathless
Saying, "I'm going to keep you awake some nights
Without touching you.
You'll make it up, the pain. You always do."
Now, my town only buys drowsy-formula sky
Otherwise, it gets too big, the sky
Like when we were three
Before we realized we realized we have balls
Okay, the sky does not
Therefore, we have bigger balls than the sky
Please, don't talk to us about being tea-bagged
By upside-down hot-air balloons...
... Okay, explain that to a neighbor because that shit's funny.
Where rational conversations
And big pictures are concerned
We have no time for getting wrapped up
We are not little presents for your sky
We are just right, far right
And cute like three year-olds
Like the book about bunny suicides
Cute like Ol' Yeller just 'fore he got shot and the rabies
A good actor, that dog.
My town was born way off the mark
Y'all, sometimes we see it coming, the mark
So we shoot it with spit wads
Or precision-guided phallic symbols
Every time there is talk of war
People give me reasons why their town
Will be bombed first
It's a souped-up sense of self-importance, Bucko.
Everybody knows my town will be bombed first
Because, once, we planned the construction
Of a nuclear power plant
Right here in the same fields
Where our military children now carry out covert orders
To keep the word "dumb" alive
Religion has a hard time working here
It makes us believe that, even when we're alone
Somebody's watching us
Now, we're all narcissists
We have a habit of giving other people's gifts to ourselves
But at least our children still get
Their confidence booster shots
While our fathers perform voice-reduction surgeries
To keep our pleas for help mime-sized
While our mothers are bending infinity in half
So that our families can continue to talk in circles
For the same reason we burn our tongues
When we drink hot cocoa
For the same reason everyone wants to hug the ocean:
Because it's just so much
My town knows that there is something so big inside of all of us
We have to suck just to distract you
From being directly overwhelmed by our real power
The kind of power that makes you smile
Everybody knows that smiling is for little girls, the gays,
And certain kinds of fish who are smiling by accident
The shortcuts my town has taken
Have gotten us so far ahead of ourselves, y'all
We've actually fallen behind
Would have been better learning
How to herd turtles into a bomb shelters
On moment's notice
Giggling at the fact that we will all now die
And it's going to happen so fast
We will have never been anything but really cute
Like our three year olds
Who use folding chairs to beat lambs within inches of their lives
Funny fucking thing about that
My town is inches tall
It's why the sky looks down on us
Wants to tells us something like,
"Grow up, or reach up,
or look up and watch me winking
I'm trying to talk to you."
The earth is traveling at 66,641 miles per hour
Around the sun
It simultaneously rotates on itself
At over 1,000 miles per hour
My town... it's having some trouble sleeping.
( Buddy Wakefield )
www.ChordsAZ.com