[Lyric] Scene 32: “It’s A Good Thing We Get Paid To Do This…” Dialog Protection Reel (Frank Zappa & The Mothers)

It's a good thing we get paid to do this
I could be at home getting reamed
Or listening to my new Elton John album

Oh, man, don't even talk about getting reamed
I've been without female companionship for so long
Monday, for instance

You know why you don't get laid
Nobody wants to fuck a comedian

You should be careful talking about that stuff

Why? Does he listen?

He always listens
He always watches and listens to all the guys in the band
I been in the band for years, and I know he always listens

That's how he gets all his material
He listens to us being natural, friendly
Good-natured, humorous
And then he rips us off
And he sneaks off into a secret room some place
And boils it in ammonia and he gets it perverted
And then he brings it back to us at a rehearsal and makes us play it
Hey, man, what's that over there?

It's him, it's him, he's watching

You think he heard us?

I been in the band for years
You can bet that he heard everything

Yeah, let's go over and pretend to be nice to him

Yeah, let's go over and pretend we don't know he's watching

Yeah, and ripping off our good material

Hi, man

Hi, Frank

Hi, man

Hi, Frank

Hi, man

Hey, Frank
Hey, that's a great new song you wrote
You know the one about the penis and everything?
I was laughing a lot the whole time I was learning it

Yeah, we were all laughing, Frank

Yeah? Well, fine

Yeah, it took a little while to get into it, man, but once we got the drift

Yeah, lots of great parts you got in there for the chorus
You know when they go, "Ran-tan, ran-tan, na-na-hamninn"

"I Steal the Room" and everything, you know
I don't even mind you ripping it off me just as long as I get paid

Oh, and I don't even mind the part where he says
"What can I say about this fabulous elixir?"
So long as me and Howard and Jeff Simmons
Who left the group just before the movie started
Get credit for special material