[Lyric] Sweet Charity: Charitys Soliloquy (Gwen Verdon)

[CHARITY]
Can I remember how this song and dance began?
Yes, I can, damn right I can
It began, well, anyway, you see
There was this man
Who stopped and asked me if I knew
Which way was Lexington Avenue
He said: "I'm going to Bloomingdale's"
I said: "I'm going to Bloomingdale's"
So we hoofed over to Bloomingdale's

(spoken)
He wanted to buy some jockey shorts. 

(sung)
Then he said: "Miss, would you like a cup of tea
Or maybe some Seven-Up?
I left the tip, picked up the tab
For the jockеy shorts and the taxi cab

(spoken)
He droppеd me off and I burned! Boy! Let that be a lesson to you. 
(sung)
Lower the boom, girl!
Lower the boom!
But what can you do when he knocks on your door
'Cause they locked him out of his furnished room

(spoken)
So, he moves in! He moves in with the jockey shorts in a paper bag. Nothing else!

(sung)
He needs toothpaste
And a toothbrush and pajama tops
He needs razor blades, a razor, and a comb! Several!
He needs sistering and brothering
And fathering and mothering
He needs a hat to hang up in my flat
And call it home!

In no time at all
I find we're very much in love
And I'm blushing like a sentimental slob
And he's kissing me and hugging me
And all the time he's bugging me
To go out and try to find myself
A better paying job!
Comes July, it's ninety-eight degrees
He wants a coat
Wants a fur-lined coat, fur collar, cuffs, the works!
While I really didn't begrudge it
When I figured out my budget
For that coat I had to dance
With something like eleven hundred jerks!

Now comes February, ten degrees
I need a coat
Need a coat to walk his poodle that I bought
So he gives me his old sweatshirt, a muffler, and a [?]
And I give to him the bronchial pneumonia that I caught

Then I give him
Pocket money, poker money
Smoking money, skating money
Bowling money, movie money
Hair-cut money, shoe-shine money
Money for a bill from Louie's bar
Money for a bill from Maxie's bar
Money for a bill from Charlie's bar
But will he ask for subway money?
No, he won't want subway money

(spoken)
'Cause it turns out the bum wants to go to Florida. C'mon down!
(sung)
Now hear this
And get this
Oh Susannah! Amen
This big fat heart
Ain't gonna be torn apart
Ever, ever, ever again!
Ole!