[Lyric] Tales from the Laundry Room (Dirty Laundry)

Here's a short story
About a man named Harry
He didn't realize
That he could have lost his life
He did a bad thing
A very, very bad thing
He should have thought first
Before he jumped the gun

What's the matter with you Harry
To make you do something like this?
What the hell could have gone wrong?
Did your Mom put
Orange juice in your cereal?
Feed you tofu, instead of veal?
Wash your clothes in a toilet bowl?
Ohhh-ohhh-ohhh-ohhh-ohhhhhhhh

It happened one Sunday
In the month of June
His hopes weren't up
Not even in bloom
He had a flatulating
Gross thought
He thought, what the hell
It's something he could do
He took a dump in the laundry basket!

The clouds came roaring
Under the sun
Hell broke loose. He thought
"What have I done?"
So he ran
Like a wimp
He couldn't stand the fact
That he was a gimp
The most dumb thing
He's ever done
Even worse than stealing bubble gum
He got a feeling
Not a normal feeling
It was a feeling like oatmeal in your shoes

So the Feds came
And said, "What a shame
You should be religious
Not ambitious"
Harry spoke up
As they put him in a truck
He said, "What's this crap?
I see through your trap"
So the Feds went far, far away
And never came back to Harry's another day
Harry wasn't a loser anymore
But boy were his parents pissed

Here's a short story
About a man named Harry
He didn't realize
That he could have lost his life
He did a bad thing
A very, very bad thing
He should have thought first
Before he jumped the gun

What's the matter with you Harry
To make you do something like this?
What the hell could have gone wrong?
Did your Mom put
Orange juice in your cereal?
Feed you tofu, instead of veal?
Wash your clothes in a toilet bowl?
Ohhh-ohhh-ohhh-ohhh-ohhhhhhhh