Song: The LEGO Movie
Year: 2015
Viewed: 31 - Published at: 8 years ago

[Narration by Epic Voice Guy]
Based on a toy franchise with no story or defined characters comes a feature-length commercial full of celebrities, cliches, and repetitive pop music that's...really sweet and heartfelt. Huh, didn't see that coming.

The LEGO Movie

Enter a world of unlimited LEGO playsets, where characters from Star Wars, DC, Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, and Kazaam all join together to save the world...but instead, we're stuck with this guy. Meet Emmet, a clueless suck-up who lives in a city full of mindless drones, complete with its own version of Two and a Half Men (Where Are My Pants?). Watch him convince the world to follow instructions, work together, and sacrifice their personal goals for the greater good of stopping the evil President Business. Eh...wait, is this movie gonna turn my kid into a communist?

Laugh along at the mix of expert CGI and comically bad live-action that covers up the horrific reality of what you're actually watching, like this cop (Bad Cop) killing his own parents, the destruction of an entire city full of people, the brutal beheading of one of the film's heroes (Vitruvius), and the fact that this father and son ("The Man Upstairs" and Finn) have created a city and universe in their basement that they can destroy at any time. And don't tell me in the comments that it's just make-believe, because that LEGO dude totally moves on his own (shows an Emmet figure moving around in live-action).

So strap in for this crowd-pleaser that didn't even crack the Academy's top five animated films (shows headlines from articles about The LEGO Movie being snubbed at the Academy Awards), losing out to things no one saw like Song of the Sea and the Tale of the...Tiny Hand Princess...? (The Tale of the Princess Kaguya)...but was so successful and beloved, your kids still can't stop singing the movie's hit song. So get ready, 'cause we're about to get this one stuck in your head...again.

(sung to the tune of "Everything is Awesome")

Jessica Jablonski: Everything's a product./This is all a ploy to sell kids more and more/Pricey plastic products/At your mall's LEGO store.

Nice Peter: 3, 2, 1! Have you seen this film? Of course you saw it!/This one film just tripled our profits!/F Mattel; we're the number one toy brand!/Even got people going into the Legoland!

EpicLLOYD: So many products that our products have products./We don't own Batman, not our product./LEGO Batman, that's our product!/LEGO Batman Movie? Product's product's product!

Jessica Jablonski: Everything's a product/Or licensed intellectual property./Shiny yellow products!/Now give us your money.
Nice Peter, EpicLLOYD: Gandalf! Abe Lincoln!/Look, Lando Calrissian!/Dumbledore! The DC King (Superman)!/You know what's product? Everything!/Train, track,/Shaq: they're products!/Cars, bars,/Guitars: they're products!/Board, sword,/Star Lord: they're products!/All the things you see in this movie/Are products!

Starring (shows boxes for various LEGO sets based on the film) Trash Chomper; Bad Cop Car Chase; The Flying Flusher; Bad Cop's Pursuit; Super Secret Police Dropship; Benny's Spaceship, Spaceship, SPACESHIP!; Super Cycle Chase; Castle Cavalry; Rescue Reinforcements; Cloud Cuckoo Palace; The Piece of Resistance; and Emmet's Construct-o-Mech. Also Starring (shows more boxes for LEGO sets based on the film) MetalBeard's Sea Cow, MetalBeard's Duel, Creative Ambush, Double-Decker Couch, Melting Room, Getaway Glider, Lord Business' Evil Lair, Ice Cream Machine, and Where Are My Pants? Guy Minifigure.

The LEGO Commercial

Man, I kinda feel like buying some LEGOs right now. How about you guys? (shows Nice Peter and EpicLLOYD in a recording studio)

Nice Peter: Yeah.

EpicLLOYD: Yeah. (they walk out of the studio)

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