[Verse 1] If you want to take a picture, get consent If you want to take a picture, get consent If you want to take a picture, they're a person, not a fixture If you want to take a picture, get consent [Verse 2] If you want to touch their cosplay, get consent If you want to touch their cosplay, get consent If you want to touch their cosplay, and...Learn More

[Verse 1] Come on in, right on in, to our temple of sin! Sensual and sublime With multiple versions of every perversion And women of every kind If you're a fellow who likes a Bordello With something off for a change For 2 dollars more you can have a dead whore We specialize in the strange If you get lucky this evening And one takes you out for a...Learn More

[Verse 1] Oh, the night that Paddy Murphy died is a night I'll never forget Some of the boys got loaded drunk and they ain't got sober yet As long as a bottle was passed around, everyone was feelin' gay O'Leary came with the bagpipes, some music for to play! [Chorus] That's how they showed their respect for Paddy Murphy That's how they showed...Learn More

[Verse 1] Slytherins are evil That's what other houses say! But as a Slytherin I aim to change your view today Slytherins aren't terrible We're just misunderstood Just because we're little power-obsessed Doesn't mean we can't be good [Chorus] Oh Slytherin, oh Slytherin They all think you’re bad But a Slytherin will be the Bestest friend you've...Learn More

[Verse 1] You and I are kind of like Romeo and Juliet In that I’m romantic and sweet, and you’re an immature loser With friends who are unreasonably violent [Verse 2] You and I are kind of like Ron and Hermione In that I’m super smart, I’m good with my wand And you keep a murderer as a pet [Chorus] In these stories we want to know Will they or...Learn More

[Verse 1] Stop for pictures at the top of the stairs Try to lick all of the vendor wares Rush a panel room when you’re told to wait Tell a Xenomorph you wanna procreate [Chorus] Dumb ways to con So many dumb ways to con Dumb ways to co-o-on So many dumb ways to con [Verse 2] Keep a Tribble as a pet Sell a vial of Chris Evans’ sweat Enter the...Learn More

[Chorus] When life gives you comedy or tragedy We’ll tap another vat Raise your voice with mine and say “I’ll drink to that!” [Verse 1] (BEER!) Now if you’re like most of us raised around here Then you must have started your drinking with beer We learned how to flirt with the lads at the bar And to sing out a toast for all friends near and...Learn More

[Verse 1] Let's get busy in the library I wanna do it by the books But if I can't be quiet, we'll get nasty looks My bits are Dewey and by now my pleasure's feeling overdue Let's do it in the library Let's do it in the library [Verse 2] Let's get busy in the library And then my pleasure will renew There's so much friction and non-friction to...Learn More

[Verse 1] We just finished fucking each other It was pretty good, not great We matched on a phone application You said you weren't looking to date Now we’re lying naked, in the bed And our silence fills the air You turn your head towards me As you reach to touch my hair… [Chorus 1] “I can’t wait for my partner to meet you,” You casually say with a...Learn More

[Verse 1] I asked my mom how I could be the best I am She said if you do just one thing, you surely won't be damned Well, then I asked "what is it?" And she answered so demure: "Just keep your knees together, love, and always you'll be pure." [Chorus] We were taught to keep an aspirin twixt our knees To keep us out of trouble so our mothers would...Learn More

[Verse 1] This song's about a ship, they say I see it in a different way When certain lads come out to play It's how the girls describe their lay [Chorus] Pump her boys, you're pumping her dry Down to hell and up to the sky Bend your backs and break your bones You're just a thousand miles from home [Verse 2] "I'm great at oral," is the boast "I...Learn More

[Verse 1] In Amsterdam there lived a lad Mark well what I do say! In Amsterdam there lived a lad He claims to be the best I had I'll go no more a rovin' with you, dear lad [Chorus] A-rovin', a-rovin' Since rovin's been my ru-i-in I'll go no more a-rovin' with you dear lad! [Verse 2] This lad he took me for a walk Mark well what I do say! I...Learn More